So much has happened before & after moving into my flat.

Some were expected, while some weren’t;

Some went well as planned,
While some didn’t.

Thank you all for being there for me
through the ups and downs 🫂

Even though you’ve got your own weight on your shoulders and hearts,
You still showed up for me in times of need ,

and show me how much you care by sharing with me
“the life experience, courage and wisdom.
It meant a lot to me.🙏

After my kids left for their separate journeys of lives in August,
I have more time to myself .

I’ve been adjusting myself
steadily and in good pace, I think.

Redirecting most of my energy and attentions
back onto myself
is quite pleasant and …
frankly , relieving on some level. 😮‍💨

For now,
I don’t have to carry my kids’ needs and wants on my shoulders,
it does help relieve my stress at heart—

even though my kids had already been
quite independent and sweet before they left for their journeys in life.

Adjusting my daily routine & focus is easy ;

what’s taking more efforts to adjust is the mental part.

🙏I’ve had this epiphany that I’d like to share with you all. ⬇️

While I was walking around the neighborhood,
getting to know it better with my friends a while back,

I caught myself
thinking to myself:

“I will do this ..
I will Ido that …
when my loved ones return to TamShui again ,
or when they are with me again. “

And a few days afterwards,
while I was preparing a meal in my kitchen,
I caught myself thinking to myself , AGAIN ,

“I’m gonna do this….
I’m gonna do that …
when my loved ones are here .”

And suddenly ,
there’s voice in my head saying ,

“Why wait, Angel?

Subconsciously,
you’ve been waiting ,
keeping what you want to do on hold ,

for the reason
that you’d like to do all those
with the ones you love and care about…

However,

What if ,
what if by the time
your loved ones are here with you again,

what you want
isn’t aligned with what they want
at the moment?

Are you gonna resent yourself
or maybe them
for not joining you in making all those “thoughts/plans/hopes” happen with you ?

But how could you be?

They’ve never asked you to wait
nor keep your life on hold
for their sake,have they ,
my dear ?

And by then,
no one will
or possibly can
pay you back
the time and life you’ve lost
on subconsciously waiting and hoping ….

It could be weeks ,months ,
or even years …

By then
Time is lost;

the resources and focus may vary far from right now ;

What you want now
may not feel the same by then ;

Everyone has their own lives and goals
to pursue and fight for;

What is it gonna be then , Angel ? “

And it got me thinking for quite some time ……

So…

Here’s the dialogue within —-

“It is about time, Angel.

Mindfully QUIT the subconscious habit
of waiting and hoping to make things happen
when the loved ones are around me.

It’s about time to —

Brave up further 💪🏻

Do & plan things within my means;

Be practical and responsible for all I do ;

Pursue and embrace
what I really want while I still can.

Don’t wait.
Don’t regret.
Don’t complain that you haven’t got a chance.

Take actions to make things happen,
to have your wish list checked 1 by 1. ✅

You’ve done your parts —

as a strong ,loving , supporting and devoted wife;

as an accountable , loving, caring and understanding mother;

as a caring, thoughtful, hardworking and responsible teacher;

It’s okay to live out
the needs and wants
of simply being “Angel yourself.”

After all, Angel,
you’re 51 this year;
God doesn’t promise anyone forever…….”

May this epiphany be an encouragement and a Thank You to everyone reading this🙏🏼

Let’s love ourselves well, and live a fulfilled happy life!

Chinese version:
. 📝 寫給 每一位支持 與 愛護我的親友們 的一封信 🙏🏼